She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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