You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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