I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
