His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
