Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
