And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
