like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
love makes seman taste better
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
