did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
