The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
