he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
