She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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