is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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