Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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