Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
did i just pee glitter
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize