There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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