Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!

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(985): View more from Louisiana

And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair

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(703): View more from Virginia

My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?

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(616): View more from Michigan

this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.

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(806): View more from Texas

You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."

(1-806): View more from Texas

Best pick-up line ever!

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(847): View more from Illinois

there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check

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(310): View more from California

The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?

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(801): View more from Utah

My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

and their significant others

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS

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