the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
