And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
