help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
