Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
