I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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