i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
