Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
