What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
