No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
