do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
