sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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