is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
