Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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