I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My dick has a subreddit
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
