Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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