omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
