My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
