so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
