I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
