how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
