you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
