Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
