how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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