cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
