You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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