TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
