I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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