How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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