yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
