He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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