You work out of a Hotel?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
