She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize