when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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