I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
