And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
