He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize