at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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