No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize