I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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