Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I could make wine with my vomit
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
