i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
