Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
