I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize