I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
