Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
