Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
