If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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