He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
