I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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