That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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