so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize